The single most powerful thing you can do today to change your life for the better

Always hated titles like this.

Put your phone on silent mode. Forever.

Yep. That’s what I’ve done recently. My Nexus is still always with me. It just doesn’t make unnec­es­sary noise. It’s been on silent mode for a couple of months already, and I feel I’ve never been so pro­duc­tive in my whole life. So I decided to share with the world the results of my exper­i­ments with default com­mu­ni­ca­tion practices. I know you won’t believe me. I know you feel it may be very lib­er­at­ing, but you prob­a­bly think it’s not for you. It’s for those pro­duc­tiv­ity junkies who don’t let them­selves breathe freely for a second. Well, I still encour­age you to read on and try it for a week or two. It won’t hurt.

Two experiments that didn’t fail (but seem to)

We all know we’re hooked. But we under­es­ti­mate how far down the rabbit hole we’ve gone. One of my employ­ees once told me she refuses to turn off her pri­vate cell phone at the office because “what if some­one impor­tant to me dies and I don’t find out right away?” It sounded ridicu­lous to me at the time, but it made me think. Maybe we all behave just like that? As if we’re always wait­ing for that kind of “death call”. Is that a proper way to live? Do we really need to ruin almost every­thing we do with phone inter­rup­tions while we wait for that mys­te­ri­ous life-or-death call?

My first exper­i­ment was to return calls only after 4 p.m. It failed, mostly because it requires you to remem­ber to turn silent mode on and off every day, or to set up some sophis­ti­cated system of phone profiles. I failed at both.

Then I tried to call back all missed calls in batches while walking. It seemed quite useful, but it had its own draw­backs too.

First, the stupid one. I could be killed in a car acci­dent, always look­ing at the phone screen and not at the road. I may sound overly pes­simistic, but look at the people in the streets. They are some­times vir­tu­ally zombies. And I remem­ber talk­ing on the phone with­out a head­set while riding my bicy­cle in heavy traffic.

Second, you may want to take notes during or right after a conversation. This is espe­cially true if you leave all calls for walk­ing time, not just the insignif­i­cant ones. I often found myself stand­ing in the middle of a path­way, trying to write down all my ideas after a call.

Some people advise turn­ing off your phone during work­ing hours only. That’s a fair point. You’ll never miss a call from a friend invit­ing you to a party. Besides, the sales man­agers are usu­ally off by then. But what if you are having dinner or sex, or both? Would you like to be inter­rupted? Decide for yourself. But keep in mind that a com­plete round-the-clock offline mode is psy­cho­log­i­cally more con­vinc­ing for your social circle. Beware of their ini­tial oppo­si­tion to your “insane” experiments.

I’ve come to a simple notion. People usu­ally don’t value their lives very highly, and thus their time. They may tell you the oppo­site, but trust no words. Trust what you see them do. Furthermore, they uncon­sciously extend this atti­tude to their peers. Hence the inevitable pres­sure on you. But do you really care what others think of you if you don’t have time to breathe, think and live?

Finally, my advice

Don’t be afraid to exper­i­ment with the way you handle calls. Find what works best for you.

I sug­gest a grad­ual tran­si­tion to com­plete 24-hour silent mode, as it’s more prac­ti­cal and saves you the hassle of switch­ing phone modes.

Try this trick. Set up your smart­phone so that it sends an SMS to the caller every time you miss a call. Write some­thing like “Hey! Sorry for the inconvenience. It’s easier to get in touch with me by email.” If you want to be really tough, don’t add your actual email. That way you con­trol exactly who has access to you. This trick helped me edu­cate my fre­quent contacts. I turned it off after a few weeks.

Remove your phone number from your busi­ness cards and email signature. If it’s a busi­ness issue, you’ll be better off, as your poten­tial callers will be forced to write down exactly what they want from you. It’s good even for them! We all know that writ­ing is thinking.

Create your SLA, a ser­vice level agreement. Decide when and whom you want to call back. This think­ing alone might lead you to inter­est­ing findings. Whom do you con­sider worthy of your imme­di­ate atten­tion? Maybe your kids, mom or pa are more impor­tant than another sales man­ager trying to foist some fancy new soft­ware on you?

Try teach­ing your people to send you an SMS if their stuff is a life-and-death issue.

How it works for me

I use my smart­phone heav­ily during the day: I read, watch YouTube videos and check email. I just keep it silent around the clock. I can call back some­one impor­tant to me (hi, dad!) when I take a break from work. Then I scan the missed calls and return some, mostly num­bers I have in my phonebook. I don’t call back strangers. My number seems to be listed in lots of data­bases, because I didn’t pay much atten­tion to whom I was giving it all these years. Sometimes I return a missed call only to find out it was another sales manager. The Android Lollipop update came out recently. It has beau­ti­ful new con­trols over noti­fi­ca­tions and excep­tions to silent mode, which made my com­mu­ni­ca­tion even better. Only two people are on my excep­tions list — my parents. They rarely call me now, and when they do, I’m sure it’s worth pick­ing up.

Kind of a disclaimer

Some will say, “Oh, that’s not the case for me. My boss will never let me do this.”

Ask your­self (and pos­si­bly your boss) whether he is paying you to answer calls imme­di­ately or for some­thing else. If it’s the former, which is unlikely unless you are a call center oper­a­tor or a big boss’s assis­tant, don’t complain. You still can, and must, set some limits. Check out the movie Swimming with Sharks on this ;)

Hope this all helps somebody. These ideas are inspired by Dan Kennedy’s No B.S. Time Management for Entrepreneurs. If you liked this post, you should def­i­nitely read the book.

More in my next posts on what I’ve done to free myself up, and on how I fell into the trap of serv­ing others instead of pur­su­ing my dreams.